The Origins of Ophelia the Ferret
by stagepageandscreen
Summary: This is a strange little one shot I wrote with my sister. Set in the universe of my other main fiction, A Different Version of Events. If you haven't read that, then just take this as a piece of Amis centred fluff. Enjoy!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Les Miserables, which belongs to Victor Hugo. I do, however, own Ophelia the Ferret, created by myself and my younger sister. **

**A/N Okay people, for those of you who think I have completely lost the plot; this is a one-shot in relation to my lengthier fiction, A Different Version of Events. This is the origins story for Jehan's pet ferret, Ophelia. WARNING: It gets a bit crazy. Oh, and there is also the gory death of a mouse. Just so you know.**

**The Origins of Ophelia the Ferret**

Grantaire was drunk.

This was not an unusual occurrence for him; after all, his nickname was 'wine cask'. However, he was at the level of drunkenness when he stopped thinking clearly and normally ended up doing something stunningly stupid. Today was no different.

The _Café de Vie*_ was a bustling little place not far from the university that some of Grantaire's friends studied at. He stumbled into the café, a small wicker basket bundled under his arm and a devious plan brewing in his mind as he spied Enjolras, Courfeyrac and Jehan huddled together in a corner. Catching sight of him, Courfeyrac and Jehan waved. Enjolras did not.

"Hello, Grantaire!" Jehan, as ever, was friendly and cheerful, a glowing smile on his boyish face. "What's in the basket?"

Grantaire collapsed into a chair, grinning like a maniac. "It's a present, Jehan my friend, for you." He clumsily handed the basket across to Jehan, who was now positively beaming. Enjolras and Courfeyrac looked worried, if a bit intrigued.

"Just how drunk are you, R?" Enjolras asked bluntly, as Jehan revealed the content of the basket.

"Me? Drunk? What a ridiculous accusation, Apollo!" The reply to this blasé statement was a withering glare.

"But why a ferret? Where did you get it?" Courfeyrac looked nervously at the bundle of pale grey fur that was wriggling in Jehan's hands.

Grantaire shrugged. "It looked lonely, and Jehan likes little fluffy things, and I know he's still sad after his budgie …what did you call it again? Oh, yes, Hector…kicked the metaphorical bucket, so I thought he could use a friend."

"Thank you, R, my friend." Jehan was going misty eyed. "I will treasure her."

"Jehan, you do know what ferrets _eat,_ don't you?" Courfeyrac knew how Jehan hated hurting animals, so the vision of their gentle friend feeding small furry creatures to the bloodthirsty beast in his hands didn't quite sit right in his mind.

"Have no fear, I came prepared!" announced Grantaire, momentarily drawing the attention of the entire café. He reached into his bag, and after a moment of scrabbling around and a few muffled curses, his hand re-emerged holding a small brown mouse. He waved it in front of the ferret's nose, causing it to snap hungrily upwards and causing Jehan to gasp in distress. The ferret's teeth caught the helpless creature in a death grip and it tore into the mouse hungrily. For Jehan, that was too much. Wrenching the ferret away from her gory meal, he fled the café with a scream.

A minute later the other three found themselves outside of the café, with strict orders to not return for at least a fortnight, and a warning issued to Grantaire that if he showed his face there again, he would be on the receiving end of the owner's cudgel.

Enjolras was fuming. "Really, Grantaire, why do you have this strange compulsion to try and get us thrown out of every café in Paris apart from the Musain?"

Courfeyrac, who was scrubbing mouse entrails off his sleeve with a grimace of distaste, echoed the sentiment. "We were having a lovely time until you showed up. I mean seriously, a ferret, for Jehan? Jehan is one of the most gentle and caring souls in France and you give him an animal that requires live food?"

The two of them then stalked off, leaving Grantaire alone in the street, not completely sure what had just happened.

LINE BREAK

Jehan didn't show up at the Café Musain for two days and Grantaire felt the full force of both Courfeyrac's and Enjolras' glares on an hourly basis.

When the poet did appear at the next meeting, everyone was surprised to see a small furry head pop out from his satchel and peer around curiously.

"You kept it?" Courfeyrac asked in disbelief.

"Don't call her 'it'!" Jehan protested. "You'll hurt her feelings." He didn't notice Courfeyrac's stunned expression. "Her name is Ophelia."

"What is the world coming to?" Enjolras muttered from his corner.

Courfeyrac tried again. "But, Jehan, you hate hurting small animals. You won't even poison the rats in your apartment; you just catch them and set them free later. It… I mean Ophelia… has to eat meat."

The poet smiled brightly. "The two of us have come to an arrangement. She eats the rats, and I don't watch. It's working well so far."

Collectively, the group sighed, rolled their eyes at this new quirk of the group and tried to focus on the task at hand.

Grantaire sat in the corner, thoroughly bemused. Why on earth had Jehan bought a ferret?

**A/N So there you go. This is what happens when my sister and ferrets and me end up in the same conversation.**

**BTW: I don't own a ferret, never have, so I'm very sorry if I got something wrong or have been too cruel to them here.**

_*Café of Life_


End file.
